How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
