Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
