Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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