If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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