I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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