it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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