Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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