I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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