You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
