I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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