i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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