I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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