Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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