I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
