im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you will always have a special place in my vag
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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