Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
