Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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