i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
