Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
