I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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