Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if only i could text you this smell
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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