**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You are the jesus of drinking
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
