Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
