and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
