peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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