i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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