Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
