hotel room ftw
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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