he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
dude. I can hear the air.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
