They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
