Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
