I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
