Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize