Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
