I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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