Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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