happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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