Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
