I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
