I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize