Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
