I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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