I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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