He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
