i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
