I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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