Where is the hickey?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
