my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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