She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
