yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
