im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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