The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize