Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
