and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
