I'm passing your future prison.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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