You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
How external is "for external use only"?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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