worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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