Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
