I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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