my vag is so smooth its legendary
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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