I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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