Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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