What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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