Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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