I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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