i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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