you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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