Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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