Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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